It is so crazy how many opportunities there are in the world. Places to go, people to connect with, roles to play. At 19, to say that it is overwhelming would be a little bit of an understatement.

If you know me at all, you probably know that I’ve been feeling unfulfilled lately in little old Statesboro. And that is not to say that I am “too good” for Statesboro or anything like that. It is more of this crushing realization that the world is so much bigger than Georgia Southern – or hey, even UGA for that matter, if you wanna play that game.

What I’m saying is it is not the choice of school making me feel like this. It is the societal concept that we can only travel and experience the world after we graduate and work for 40 years. I want to see the world now. The fear of never getting to explore this world God made for us is enough to make me get on a plane and fly half a world away from everything and everyone I know and love.

I had this brief period where I thought I was capable of changing the world. Maybe I’d invent a machine that cleaned toxins out of the ocean without harming wildlife, or maybe I’d save the Great Barrier Reef from ultimate destruction. I had these grand plans of exposing corrupt politicians with my writing or proving conspiracy theories in a well researched article. Maybe I actually believed it or maybe it was just a side effect from late-night existential crises conversations with my roommates during finals week. But the potential I felt for that short time was enough.

In a conversation with my older sister, I realized it wasn’t just a product of my anxiety-and-depression prone mind. Apparently that fleeting burst of world-domination-angst is something most people go through in college, and I’m not sure if that is refreshing or disappointing. Refreshing in the fact that all of us mediocre American college kids think we can change the world for a few days each, or disappointing because none of really seem to achieve it. Anyway, what my sister said to me was this:

“I went through a phase where I felt like I was just wasting away. I felt like I had the potential to change the world. Madeline, changing schools won’t help how you feel. Because there will always be a better school, a better program, someone better. My point is that sometimes you need to find peace within yourself. I have no clue what I’m doing with my life and that is okay. You realize that no one has a fucking clue. We are all stumbling around trying to get our lives together.”

Six years later and she could articulate exactly what she felt all that time ago. What I really took away from what she said was that I needed to find a way to come to peace with the world and myself. And I felt that to do that I needed to go somewhere I could be completely independent. Okay, so maybe the other side of the  world is a little extreme, but as my dad always says, go big or go home.

So maybe my dreams of being a famous singer or a National Geographic photojournalist or a professional mermaid or a worship leader at a Steubenville conference are a little far fetched. Or maybe they aren’t. But I have to go find out.

Journalism classes in Sydney, Australia. With Hillsong Church right down the road. Not to mention about 7 Catholic cathedrals to whet my appetite for Mass and confession. A totally new place, with all new people. Completely alone. Terrifying, sure. But also exhilarating.

Who knows, I could be saving the Amazon Rainforest or putting out original music videos in a few years. But my daring adventures start here.